Sometimes the hardest part is letting go. Most animal owners know that a time will come when you will have to say goodbye. It is an undeniable truth and the price you pay to allow a creature with a life expectancy much shorter than your own into your heart. Farewell will come, but that knowledge does not make is any easier.
No, Fame is not dead but in a few hours someone is bring a trailer and he is going to what hopefully is going to be a new permanent home. I will watch that trailer pull away with a big piece of my broken heart.
I have known for a while that I would have to sell him, and was in denial about ever having to sell him for longer still. I have had animals die while in my ownership and while heartbreaking it is a natural conclusion. In addition you can trust God to look after them until you get up there.
To sell is a little different. He may not be dead, but the hardest part is not knowing. Every time he got hurt or sick I was there and stuck with him doggedly until he okay. I spent a night, slept in the barn, when he had a particularly scary bout of colic. I've spent money to make sure he has been fed, shod, and vetted even when I have had no money to feed myself. I have given up much for the opportunity to have the title of "Horse Mom".
I think back, and I think about all the rash, rebellious, choices I made that got me into horses in the first place, the choices that took me down this precarious path. I may have been stupid about a lot of it. But I cannot regret the lessons learned and being able to share my heart with one of these amazing and wonderful animals. He is my first horse but defiantly not my last. I will have horses again even if it takes years!
I know that the situation he'll be going to was sent by God. Fame is gonna be a therapy horse, working with disabled kids or kids from traumatic backgrounds. Mostly they'll do work with him on the ground or in hand. Lots of brushing and lots of goodies, all things he loves. Plus the girl that runs their program used to own him. I know that he'll be loved and looked after. I could not ask for a better outcome. While sad I know the timing couldn't be more perfect.
James, Part II
2 weeks ago